Who Knew

So this morning I woke up with terrific nose bleed. I don't usually get nose bleeds, but when I  have in the past they've never been a big deal. This time it was like a faucet of blood pouring out of my nose, tissue after tissue. I tried pinching it for 5, 10 then 15 minutes and nothing. It seemed to only get worse. That's when I decided to haul my ass to the ER. Not to mention, I was starting to feel a bit faint and dizzy likely due to the blood loss. Probably not the best idea to drive myself to the ER either but I made it.

After a quick check of vitals they got me into a room pretty quickly. The doc that came in said first thing to try was some medicated packing. He then says, "you're not scheduled for any drug testing in the next few weeks are you?" I replied "no, why?". He then goes on to explain that they treat nose bleeds with some gauze soaked in cocaine ... i shit you not. I thought to myself - isn't that how a lot of chronic nosebleeds start in the first place!

Anyway - after two unsuccessful attempts and a whole lot more bleeding he decides its time to get a bit more aggressive. Cue "Rhino Rocket" - as he's prepping this little contraption he explains that it may be a bit uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is a pebble in your shoe, uncomfortable is a mild sunburn, uncomfortable is tight tie in summer. This thing is a straight up torture device. For starters, its basically a full size tampon with a balloon inside and a tube extending out the end to inflate it - the tube is later taped to the side of your face. It is inserted into your nose until its touching your brain and then they give it one more push for good measure. Just when you think they're done they go and pump it up inside your sinus cavity. After an hour or so, this results in the most excruciating sinus headache you can imagine. Pain from your eye socket to you lower jaw. The slightest movement of your face, jaw or god forbid you bump the bit hanging out and you're in tears. Add to that the occasional sneeze reflex caused by having the damn thing wedged up your nose and its total bliss - not!

The next bit of fun advice, he tells me I have to wait for the ENT to remove it... he can't see me until Monday... its Thursday.